Happy New Year?!?

I have a confession to make: this year I didn’t sit down and write down my New Year’s resolutions like I usually do.  I already knew what they were… I’ve had the same resolution for 15 years now.  And I always hope that THIS will be the magical year that I hit my goal weight again!

I made great strides in 2009 when I lost 30 lb.  2011 was good to me, too – I lost an additional 10 lb… until December when I gained 5 of it back!  Which leaves me still 15 lb away from my goal weight.

So I determined that 2012 was going to be my magical year!  Except that 2 weeks into this magical year, I found myself without any magic.  I was sabotaging my goal and failing miserably.  I almost threw in the towel and figured I would be part of the 80% of people who made New Year’s resolutions who failed by January 20 (again – I’ve done this so many times, I definitely know the drill)!  (Not to mention that I could throw on some extra guilt because I didn’t even make it to January 20)

But, this year a new thought popped up!   I thought, “How can you fail a 52-week goal in just two weeks?”  Leaving my fatalistic mentality behind, I chose to see this year differently.

And so I got real with myself and figured out what didn’t work those first two weeks, and I made a new plan.  I jumped right back on my goal wagon, and I lost those 5 lb that I had gained in December!  Which means I am now only 10 lb away from my goal weight!

Today is January 20 and I am proud to say I am one of the 20%!  I am excited and going strong toward my goal!

If you’ve abandoned your New Year’s resolutions, re-evaluate them instead of abandoning them and jump back on the goal wagon and join me in making 2012 the best year EVER!!!

Believe!

If you have read my "Living the Laws of Success" e-book, you know that I have listed belief as one of the two essential ingredients for success!  (If you haven't read my e-book, you can download it here for free - or enter your information to the right of this post!).  Getting rid of doubts and fears in my life have helped me achieve some amazing goals!

However, if you are like me then you may have a few elusive goals.  I can get close to them, but I can't quite achieve them.  For example, I lost 35 lb, but those last 15 lb are eluding me!  And running that 5k in less than 30 minutes -- I'm not even close to that one!  It's almost time to set those New Year's resolutions and I am asking myself if I really believe I can accomplish any of these elusive goals!  Will 2012 be the magical year?!?

When the student is ready, the teacher appears...  I was really wanting to know how to increase my belief so I could accomplish these goals in 2012.  The teacher appeared in the form of a blog I read by Ty Bennett (by the way, you can read that whole blog post here).  He breaks up the word "belief" into "be" which comes from being, which is a state of existence. The second word "lief" comes from the Indo-European word "leubh" which means to care, desire, love.

When you put those two words together, it means to be in love with!  Being honest with myself, I hoped I could achieve those goals but I wasn't in love with the idea (or the process) of achieving them!  It seemed like a lot of work to get there and stay there, and it was bringing up a lot of negative thoughts and programming for me.

I had a huge paradigm shift after reading Ty's article.  I am now falling in love with my new fit life!  When I look in the mirror, I'm not seeing all that is wrong with me... I am consciously looking at all the things that are great!  And I am picturing myself at my goal weight and in great shape -- and I'm smiling while I picture this (looking in the mirror AND smiling at the same time - I highly recommend it -- try it)!

I have created gratitude statements (the other essential ingredient to success) to support the new me!  I'm grateful for the new me, and I'm in love with the new me!  I'm falling in love with exercising, healthy eating, and the new fit, energetic me!  I am no longer dreading my New Year's resolutions -- instead I am creating my best year ever!!!

Are Your Goals Failing You?

For the past 5 years, one of my grandiose new years' resolutions is to run a 5k in less than 30 minutes.  I have walked/run three 5k's in my life, and my time is nowhere near 30 minutes.  So it seemed like a great goal to really push myself.  But the reality is that in 5 years I have made zero progress on this goal!  ZERO!!!

So in November of this past year I decided it was time to get serious about this goal.  I challenged myself to do a really tough (non-cardio) workout for 10 days in a row.  I completed that challenge and was feeling strong and confident.  So with all this momentum behind me, I decided it was time to re-introduce the treadmill.  I set a new 10-day challenge to do a 10-minute (yes - you read that right -- only 10 minutes) workout on the treadmill!  By the third morning, I couldn't even talk myself into doing 5 minutes on the treadmill.  The first challenge was a harder challenge to complete, but I had no trouble motivating myself to do it!  That's when I realized that I wasn't failing my goal, my goal was failing me!!!  I just needed to set a completely different goal!

About that time a friend invited me to go to a Jazzercise class with her.  I had never been to a Jazzercise class before, and I was pretty much hooked from the first session!  So what was my 1 new years' resolution this year?  To do Jazzercise at least 3 times/week.  Do I have any trouble motivating myself to go to Jazzercise?  No!  I am having a great time; I love how I feel all day after doing the workout (one week I even did a few extra workouts!).  My favorite part of doing Jazzercise is walking past the treadmill in my Family Room with ZERO guilt!

Two months into the new year, I am still going strong on my new years' resolution!!!

Is there a new years' resolution (or any other type of goal) that has been failing you all these years?  Maybe it's time to set a better goal for you!

Your Next Step is... Take Action!!!

"The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something.  It's as simple as that.  A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer." ~Nolan Bushnell, Founder of Atari and Chuck E. Cheese's

Right after my mother's death I was having a hard time being motivated.  So I started asking God in my prayers to "Show me the next step and help me have the courage to take it."  Most of us know what that next step is, but for whatever reason we don't have the courage to take the step.  I asked for them to be baby steps that I could easily manage.  Guess what?  If you take enough baby steps, then you still make progress!  In fact you make more progress taking baby steps in the right direction, then you do going full speed in the wrong direction!  You don't have to take massive action, just take that small action you feel inspired to take.

It may seem random and unrelated like cleaning out a certain closet.  But while cleaning out that closet you may find something that helps you figure out the next step, or a thought may come to you while you clean out the closet, or having the closet cleaned out may take something off your mind and open up space for something else.

Don't waste your time and energy questioning the action step -- just do it!  And then ask what the next step is!  One of my husband's favorite sayings is:  "God can't steer a parked car."  So get moving and then let God guide you where you can be the most effective.

So ask yourself:  "What is one thing I can do in the next 2-5 days that will bring me a step closer to my dream/goal?"  Then go and DO IT!!!

The Best Expert on You is... YOU!!!

This week we are going to be focusing on how you are your own best expert!

Nobody knows your goals and dreams like you do.  Nobody knows what motivates you like you do!  No one else even knows what it's like to be you!  No one knows you like you know yourself.

You may not feel comfortable hearing that.  You may be thinking right now that if you really are your own best expert, then you are in big trouble!  Because you may be feeling a lot of confusion about who you are and what your dreams, goals, and aspirations really are!

Our mind plays tricks on us.  Its job is to make sure we stay safe, and the way that it keeps us "safe" is to keep us from changing.  So it works really hard to convince us that everything should stay exactly how it is!

So if you want to find out who you really are, don't try to process it through your mind.  Instead take out a pen and piece of paper and ask yourself questions such as:  What do I really want in life?  If I could do anything I wanted for a whole day, what would it be?  What are my three greatest dreams?  Would I rather:  1) learn and teach knowledge; 2) live and promote a peaceful life; 3) fill the world with as much love as possible?  (Or in other words, which motivates me more:  knowledge, peace, or love?)  If I were to live my dream life, what would my next step be?  What could I accomplish in the next 3-5 days that would take me a step closer to discovering who I really am?

Write the answers to these questions - or any other questions you think of.  Keep writing until you have nothing else left to write.  If you are having a hard time coming up with something to write, then ask yourself the question "If I did know the answer to this question, what might it be?"  If you still can't think of anything, then go on to a different question.  You may be surprised at some of the answers you write!

Come back here and share your experience with this exercise!

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify!!!

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo da Vinci

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." ~Confucius

Simplicity is my theme for 2011!  There are so many areas of my life that have become cumbersome and weighed down. I have repeatedly taken 5-year plans in various areas of my life and attempted to achieve them in 6 months or less!  Besides feeling like a complete failure, it is very tiring to live your life like this!  So this year I am simplifying and congratulating myself and celebrating every achievement -- no matter how small it may seem!

Sometimes the very act of simplifying can seem overwhelming.  So I have been doing it in bite-sized chunks -- very small bite-sized chunks!  I found this great 21-day challenge through a friend, and it really helped me tackle a little at a time.  I'm not through the 21-day challenge yet, but I am making progress!  Every time I purge a closet, I can feel myself breathing more freely.  Go here for the 21-day challenge

Another obvious place where I have simplified is with my new years' resolutions.  Usually I make grand resolutions -- extremely impressive!  I'm pretty sure that if I ever were able to accomplish all my new years' resolutions in any given year, I would unanimously be crowned Queen of the World.  In other words, it is not even humanly possible to achieve some of my grandiose goals in a single year!  Now I follow the motto:  Better to succeed incrementally than to fail impressively!

I chose one new years' resolution this year.  Today is January 25 and do you think I have abandoned my resolution?  Oh, no!  I am jamming on it!  I feel like a rock star!!!  Now that this new years' resolution has become a habit, I am ready to add in another resolution.

Actions and Reactions

To every action there is an EQUAL and OPPOSITE reaction!!! Even though I know this, I have often forgotten it! So when I have taken an action -- and the equal and opposite reaction pops up -- I end up putting my energy into trying to stop the reaction, and I lose all progress in my action. It's really important that we keep our energy and focus on the ACTION (what we're trying to create) instead of in the opposition that pops up.

I am reminded of Nehemiah in the Old Testament. Nehemiah was an Israelite who lived in exile in Babylon and served as cupbearer to the king.   At Nehemiah's request, the King gave Nehemiah the authority to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the city. However, not everyone was happy with this plan.

Fearless, Nehemiah did not allow the opposition to distract him. Instead, he organized his resources and manpower and moved forward rebuilding the city.  But as the walls of the city began to rise, opposition intensified. Nehemiah’s enemies threatened, conspired, and ridiculed. Their threats were very real, and they grew so intimidating that Nehemiah confessed, “They all made us afraid.” (Nehemiah 6:9) In spite of the danger and the ever-present threat of invasion, the work progressed.

As the work continued, Nehemiah’s enemies became more desperate. Four times they entreated him to leave the safety of the city and meet with them under the pretense of resolving the conflict, but Nehemiah knew that their intent was to do him harm. Each time they approached him, he responded with the same answer: “I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down.” (Nehemiah 6:3)

What an amazing response! With that clear and unchanging purpose of heart and mind, with that great resolve, the walls of Jerusalem rose until they were rebuilt in an astonishing 52 days.

If we are not facing any opposition, then it means we need to start taking action!  As we face opposition we need to do as Nehemiah and "do our great work, and not come down" to engage the opposition. It's important that we keep our energy moving forward in our ACTION so that we can keep progressing and so we can do our part to create miracles in our lives!

Excitement Trumps Fear -- Every Time!!!

This summer I had an amazing opportunity open up for me.  I had put a major goal in my Life Vision statement, and I knew that the right teacher would show up at the right time to help me with this goal.  The right teacher showed up at the right time, but when it came time to make the decision to work with her, I was scared!!!  My fears were blocking me big time!  I wasn't afraid of the monetary investment or the time I would need to put into this goal... I was afraid of the inevitable success that will follow!  This new teacher told me my life would be completely different 12 months from now, and I knew she was absolutely correct!

But part of me was very excited about this opportunity.  After all, I had set the goal and expected this very thing to happen.  It will take me so much closer to living my life 100% on purpose -- in short, it's everything I want!

So why the fear?  Because our minds like to play tricks on us!  Our minds like to keep us away from change and to keep us "safe."

So I immediately went to work clearing out the fear and really, really building up the excitement in my mind!  The more excited I got, the less fearful I became.  Every time I felt the fears creeping back in, I would focus on all the great things that would come out of this opportunity, and I got really excited again!  And the fears disappeared again!

Is there a fear keeping you back from something you know will be really, really good for you?  As you get closer to the goal, do you feel the fear become almost paralyzing?  Then get really clear about your motive -- why did you want this goal in the first place?  Get excited about your goal and watch the fears disappear!

Power of Intention

I set a goal for myself this summer.  I was really excited about it, and I spent a lot of time mentally preparing for it.  But now that it's time to do the work that will lead me to my goal I find myself waffling and wondering how committed I actually am to the goal.  I should probably mention that this is the third or fourth time this year I have set the same goal, and each time I have abandoned the goal because of my lack of commitment.

So I found myself a bit frustrated that I was running into the same wall I've been running into all year.  I was on the verge of abandoning my goal when I said to myself, "If I were my own client, what would I tell myself?"  That's when I realized that my first question as a coach would be, "What exactly is your goal?  What are you really trying to accomplish?"

I had been changing my goal depending on my mood and how much effort I wanted to expend towards achieving the goal.  I had broken the very first rule of goal-setting:  Write it down!!! This is not a new concept to me, and it probably isn't a new concept to you either.  But I still try to cut corners sometimes...

So I took a bright yellow piece of paper (so I couldn't possible miss it) and I wrote:  "My intention is:  to _________ by August 2, 2010" and I promptly taped it to my bathroom mirror.  I now have a very clearly defined goal that I can't just change because I don't feel like sticking to my plan for the day.

Intention is defined as an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions; an aim that guides action; a course of action one intends to follow.  It's the seed you plant so you can water it, nourish it, and harvest it.  Without a clear intention to guide your actions, there really isn't anything to act on, or nourish, or eventually to manifest.

I am happy to say that instead of abandoning my goal once again, I am now on track to reach my goal on or before August 2, 2010.

What goals are you currently working on?  Have you defined your intention and written it down and posted it where you can easily see it?

30 Days in a Row?!?!?

When I learned the "30 days in a row -- without missing a day" secret, I had been trying to lose weight for over 10 years.  I had listened to affirmations, I had written affirmations, I bought several self-development courses -- without any success!  I noticed that a lot of people who had success would say they read their Vision Statement or watched their goal movie -- or whatever they did -- for 30 days in a row -- without missing a day!

Then I heard Jack Canfield tell a story about a test NASA did several years ago.  They were testing the physiological and psychological impact of spatial disorientation on potential astronauts.  So they put convex goggles on these astronaut candidates that made everything appear upside down.  They had to wear these glasses 24/7 -- without ever taking them off.  So everything appeared upside down all the time.  At first, the astronauts were under a lot of stress and anxiety, but eventually they started adjusting.  About 30 days into the experiment, something amazing happened!  The men's brains had created new neural pathways so they started to see everything normal -- even though they were still wearing the glasses that made everything appear upside down!  They did the experiment again, this time taking the goggles off partway into the experiment, but the new neural pathways did not form.  The brain needed about 30 uninterrupted days for the new neural connections to form within the brain.

When I heard about this experiment, I decided to try my own experiment.  I took a 15-minute self-hypnosis session on weight loss from a highly respected weight loss hypnotist and listened to it EVERY night for 30 nights in a row!  I didn't feel different in any way; in fact, at times I wondered if it was even working!  But I was determined to see the experiment through to the end.

After the 30 nights, I stopped listening to it to see if I really attracted anything different into my life.  Within a few weeks, one of my sisters called and told me about a new weight loss program that many of her friends had lost weight with.  Intuitively, I knew this was what I had been looking for.  To make a long story short, I lost 30 lb in the next 2 months -- after going for 10+ years with zero success!

Try your own experiment -- just be sure that you do it for 30 consecutive nights!  I find it most effective to listen to the recording as you are waking up or going to sleep because that's when your subconscious is the most receptive to new ideas -- as it is coming out of and going into theta brain frequency!  I would love to hear how your own experiment goes!

Reaching Our Goal

On Monday we talked about how willpower doesn't help us achieve our goals.  Most of us have been asking ourselves how to develop more willpower; now I want you to start asking how you can accomplish your goal without willpower!

Like I mentioned earlier, the subconscious mind is responsible for 96-98% of our results.  The subconscious mind is where all our habits, beliefs and programming are stored.  In order to achieve our goals, we need to change the habits, beliefs and programming that are in our subconscious mind.  To give this subject justice, I would have to teach an entire course on it -- and maybe I will one day (keep checking my website for more information on that).  Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:

1.  Be very, very clear on what you want.  Write out a vision statement that gets you very excited!!!  It should feel like a "10" to you on a scale from 1-10.

2.  Make a recording of you reading this Vision Statement (be sure to read it with enthusiasm and excitement).  

3.  Listen to this recording as you go to sleep at night and as you wake up in the morning (I bought a CD alarm clock to make this easy).  Do this for at least 30 days in a row -- without missing a day!!!  I will talk about the importance of that in my next post!

4.  Collect (or create) a picture which represents you reaching this goal.  Across the bottom of the picture write "I am so happy and grateful now that ______." (Fill in the blank with your goal statement).  Keep this picture somewhere you will see it often to remind you of this goal.  

Feel free to try this for yourself and record your experience in the comments section!

Willpower...

Most of us wish we had more willpower so we could reach our goal.  I will show you how totally ineffective willpower is when trying to achieve a goal.

The conscious mind is responsible for 2-4% of our results
The subconscious mind is responsible for 96-98% of our results

Willpower is a function of the conscious mind, so...

This line is 100 spaces long; the * shows the 4% mark. If we want to use willpower to reach our goal, this is how much progress we can expect to make towards our goal. Frustrating, huh?

___*________________________________________________________________________________________________
      4% 
You probably have great willpower, especially since so many of us spend so much time and effort to improve our willpower! You just need to find better ways to reach your goal...

Later this week we will talk about what some of those better ways are to reach your goals!

True Wealth

Earlier this Spring I went to a very inspiring program that the elementary school did for their janitor. Mr. Harvey had been at the elementary school since 1997. At 76 years old, he retired earlier this year. The kids (and staff and parents) miss him terribly.

I can't imagine that an elementary school janitor makes very much money. I don't know if Mr. Harvey had a different career, and then became a school janitor to supplement his retirement money, but here is what I know about Mr. Harvey:

Every day I saw him at the school he really seemed to want to be there. He was always happy and definitely loved his job.

The kids loved him! They were all so sad that he retired. They all wrote him notes and delivered them to him. In addition to those notes, my Kindergarten daughter informed me that during "free choice," everyone in her Kindergarten class made things for Mr. Harvey.

He loves the children. There isn't a child in that elementary school who didn't know Mr. Harvey.

He had an amazing singing voice. You could often hear him in the morning singing as he set up the tables in the cafeteria. He would also sing at school functions.

He worked hard. More than once I had to track him down and ask him to help me with something at the last minute. He never complained. He was always happy to help out!

When Mr. Harvey entered the cafeteria for his special retirement program, everyone spontaneously gave him a standing ovation. He was a great man who worked hard and loved what he did. And he was happy.

I came home that day and found some wealth tips in my inbox. As I listened to them I couldn't help but think that Mr. Harvey gave me my best wealth tip of the day. Do what you love and love what you do. Spend every day being as happy and helpful as you can. Brighten up another's day. Treat everyone with respect. Work hard. Never hesitate to help another human being - don't complain about it either because one of our greatest privileges in life is being able to serve others.

I feel wealthier already! Do you know someone like Mr. Harvey -- someone who may not make a whole lot of money, but really seems to prove that you don't have to have money to be wealthy?  Please comment below and share the story of the "wealthy" person you know!

The End From the Beginning...

Here is another story told by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an LDS church leader (from April 2006 conference). The talk is called "See the End from the Beginning," and I have been thinking about this story a lot lately. Some of our goals may be taking a bit longer than we would like, but we don't know what unknown "dis-eases" are being healed as we work toward our goal. This story inspired me to be grateful for the challenges that come with my goals because they are making me stronger!

"Allow me to share with you an experience from my own boyhood. When I was 11 years old, my family had to leave East Germany and begin a new life in West Germany overnight. Until my father could get back into his original profession as a government employee, my parents operated a small laundry business in our little town. I became the laundry delivery boy. To be able to do that effectively, I needed a bicycle to pull the heavy laundry cart. I had always dreamed of owning a nice, sleek, shiny, sporty red bicycle. But there had never been enough money to fulfill this dream. What I got instead was a heavy, ugly, black, sturdy workhorse of a bicycle. I delivered laundry on that bike before and after school for quite a few years. Most of the time, I was not overly excited about the bike, the cart, or my job. Sometimes the cart seemed so heavy and the work so tiring that I thought my lungs would burst, and I often had to stop to catch my breath. Nevertheless, I did my part because I knew we desperately needed the income as a family, and it was my way to contribute.

"If I had only known back then what I learned many years later—if I had only been able to see the end from the beginning—I would have had a better appreciation of these experiences, and it would have made my job so much easier.

"Many years later, when I was about to be drafted into the military, I decided to volunteer instead and join the Air Force to become a pilot. I loved flying and thought being a pilot would be my thing.

"To be accepted for the program I had to pass a number of tests, including a strict physical exam. The doctors were slightly concerned by the results and did some additional medical tests. Then they announced, “You have scars on your lung which are an indication of a lung disease in your early teenage years, but obviously you are fine now.” The doctors wondered what kind of treatment I had gone through to heal the disease. Until the day of that examination I had never known that I had any kind of lung disease. Then it became clear to me that my regular exercise in fresh air as a laundry boy had been a key factor in my healing from this illness. Without the extra effort of pedaling that heavy bicycle day in and day out, pulling the laundry cart up and down the streets of our town, I might never have become a jet fighter pilot and later a 747 airline captain.

"We don’t always know the details of our future. We do not know what lies ahead. We live in a time of uncertainty. We are surrounded by challenges on all sides. Occasionally discouragement may sneak into our day; frustration may invite itself into our thinking; doubt might enter about the value of our work. In these dark moments Satan whispers in our ears that we will never be able to succeed, that the price isn’t worth the effort, and that our small part will never make a difference. He, the father of all lies, will try to prevent us from seeing the end from the beginning."

Do You Want to Be Right... or Happy?

I believe this is one of those verses that is passed by word of mouth and doesn't have a credited author:

Here lies the body of William Jay - 
He died defending his right of way.
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But he is just as dead as if he'd been wrong.

This reminded me of the saying, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" So many times we waste time and energy defending a belief or a position that isn't even serving our highest good.

Truth and belief are not the same things. Truth stands on it's own and doesn't need defending. If billions of people in the world believe a lie, it doesn't change the reality of the truth.  For example, for hundreds of years people believed the world was flat -- but that never changed the reality that the world was round.

Beliefs, on the other hand, are the sum total of the thoughts we choose to think. We function in accordance with our beliefs, but our beliefs do not define us. Because our thoughts are not always accurate, then it is reasonable to believe that our beliefs will not always be accurate.

I thought this verse put it into perspective in a great way, and I wanted to share it with you!

From Overwhelmed to Overflowing...

When I coach with clients and talk with other women, I find a lot of people who genuinely want to serve and help other people, but feel too overwhelmed to do it!  We live in a culture where we are way too busy!

One truth that has been playing over and over in my head this past week is that you can't give from an empty cup! There is a reason why the airlines instruct you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting a child to put theirs on. 

About 6 months ago, I finally put into action something that I have thought was a good idea for several years -- a Power Hour! The first hour of my day I spend feeding myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally & physically. That not only fills my cup, but it fills it to overflowing! From on overflowing cup, it is easy to serve others because you have so much more to give!

Picture you have a cup with a few drops of water in it.  Somebody asks for a drink from your cup.  How do you feel?  Resentful?  Worried?  Fearful?  What if they drink all my water, how will I ever get more water?

Now picture a glass overflowing with water, and the same person asks you for a drink from your cup.  You are more than willing to share!!!  You have so much to give that you know your supply will never run out!  It's a completely different feeling.

I am always amazed at how simple real solutions are! Fill yourself to overflowing -- then go serve others!

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Declaration of Independence states:  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

We often think of happiness as something we are chasing, and never able to catch up with.  "Once we can afford a bigger house, then we'll be happy."  "Once I find my soulmate, then I'll be happy."  "When I finally lose all this weight, then I'll be happy."

What did the pursuit of Happiness mean to the founding fathers?  Jefferson said happiness meant tranquility and occupation.  For Jefferson, occupation meant mainly his intellectual pursuits.  What if we started defining the pursuit of happiness as the love of learning; the freedom to think for yourself?  Or as the ability and privilege of loving another human being?  (For more information on this, go to http://www.neh.gov/whoweare/mccullough/lecture.html)

Here is a parable that illustrates this idea:

Parable of the King's Emerald

Young Rupert stood by the side of the road watching an unusal number of people hurry past.  At length he recognized a friend.  "Where are all of you going in such a hurry?" he asked.

The friend paused. ... "The King has lost his royal emerald! ... Everyone is searching, for the King has offered a reward ... to the one who finds it.  Come, we must hurry."

"But I cannot go without asking Grandmother," faltered Rupert.

"Then I cannot wait.  I want to find the emerald," replied his friend.

Rupert hurried back to the cabin at the edge of the woods to seek his grandmother's permission. ...

But his grandmother shook her head.  "What would the sheep do?" she asked.  "Already they are restless in the pen, waiting to be taken to the pasture, and please do not forget to take them to water when the sun shines high in the heavens."

Sorrowfully, Rupert took the sheep to the pasture, and at noon he led them to the brook in the woods.  There he sat on a large stone by the stresam.  "If I could only have had a chance to look for the King's emerald!" he thought.  Turning his head to gaze down at the sandy bottom of the brook, suddenly he stared into the water.  What was it?  It could not be!  He leaped into the water. ... "The King's emerald!" he shouted.

With shining eyes Rupert ran to his grandmother's hut to tell her of his great find.  "Bless you, my boy," she said, "but you never would have found it if you had not been doing your duty, herding the sheep."  And Rupert knew that this was the truth.

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I love this parable!  Too often we look for happiness and everything that will make us happy outside of ourselves.  We truly find happiness when we put first things first and when we "tend the sheep."  Rupert didn't find the King's emerald by running around looking for it like all the others were doing.  He found the emerald by taking care of the sheep and being where he was supposed to be.  As we focus our time and attention on loving those around us (whether or not they deserve it;) and learning and growing, we will discover that happiness has been inside us the whole time!

Please leave me a comment below and tell me some of the things that make you happy right now!!!

Happy New Year

When I think of all the learning and growing I did last year, there is no way I could have known last January what was possible for me for the entire year!!! I basically see two big problems with new year resolutions:

1. They say it takes about 30 days to start a new habit. I know that I'm a procrastinator so if I give myself 365 days to accomplish what it takes 30 days to do, then it is likely that I am never going to get around to it.

2. I usually set so many goals at one time and try to accomplish them all at once -- which is a sure formula for failure!

So my new year resolution this year is to stop doing new year resolutions. Instead I am going to do new month resolutions. It takes about 30 days to form a new habit and so I'm picking a new habit every month that I want to create.

My January resolution is weight loss!!! (I'm sure I'm not alone in this!) I lost 30 lb last year, and this year I have lost 6 lb so far; 14 more to go! As I focus on losing weight and feeling better about myself, I will have a better idea of what to focus on in February.

Every month I will be focusing on a new resolution!!! I can't wait to create the best year of my life!!!

Magic Question - Part 3 of 3

Earlier this year I was on a marketing call that was so much more than a marketing call! It was more about getting rid of clutter and getting to the bottom of who we really are.

The speaker introduced me to this powerful 4-word question: "So I can what?" Use it over and over again until you find out what is really important to you. For example, if you say that money is important to you, you would follow it up with "So I can what?" If you say spend more time with your family, then again you would follow it up with "So I can what?" You keep asking this over and over until you get to the very bottom of what you want.

In my case, I got to "connecting with people," and couldn't think of an answer to the question, even though I was pretty sure I could go deeper. He advised me to just stay with that answer for a while and keep asking myself the magic question until I got an aha! After the call, I got the aha! and was able to go down even deeper! I love connecting with people so I can share knowledge! I love to teach and to learn, and that is what gets me really, really excited! Now I will stay with "teach and learn," and perhaps one day I will have another aha! and go even deeper!

The cool thing is that when you get that deep inside you, you realize that what you really, really want, you already have! And it will be something that will always be with you -- and cannot be bought or sold with money. It will not depend on popularity or on others agreeing with you. It is who you are at the very core!

The closer you get to who you really are, the less fear you will have in your life! How cool is that?

Magic Question - Part 2 of 3

Many of us spend a lot of our lives in resistance. We are pushing so hard against what we don't want that we are actually creating it! You may even know that you are in resistance, but you don't know how to get out of it!

Resistance often leads to self-judgment or judging others. I had an experience where I was really feeling bad about a particular relationship in my life; in fact, I was beating myself up because of these bad feelings I have been carrying these past years. Finally I backed up and said, "Isn't it interesting that I feel this way about this person?" Immediately, all resistance, stress, judgment, and negative emotion left me. We know that "that which we resist, persists," but that concept had never been so clear to me as it was on that day.

And the magic question that dispelled the resistance was "Isn't it interesting that...?" It totally allowed me to look at the situation in a different light. And then I followed it up with the first magic question: "How can I...?" "What can I do differently...?"

For example: "Isn't it interesting that my son always pushes my buttons?" "Isn't it interesting that I have 6 hours' worth of work, and only 3 hours to accomplish it?" "Isn't it interesting that I got upset when that driver cut me off?" "Isn't it interesting that I need $1,000 for an unexpected bill, and I don't have any extra money in my account?"

And then when you've removed the resistance and judgment, it's easier to follow those questions up with "How can I have a peaceful and fulfilling relationship with my son?" [spend time with him doing things he enjoys] "How can I accomplish 6 hours' worth of work in the next 3 hours?" [Maybe some of it can be done another day; maybe some of it can be delegated; maybe a simpler process will come to you] "How can I be at peace while I drive?" "How can I attract an extra $1,000 in the next couple of months?" [Maybe I can do a week-long summer camp for Preschoolers or elementary school students - or drama - or dance - or piano]

It's been fun to see how "interesting" my problems really are!

I'm curious to see how it works for you, too! Won't it be "interesting" to see if it works for you, too?